Perhaps I have said the wrong thing, but it ended up like this. My thoughts currently are jumbled up into a giant mess. I do not know what I am thinking. Mixed emotions perhaps, but you know what? I am going to get through this. I do not have the same people as before, but I am no longer going to let that hinder my mind any longer. The ones right now are just fine. I’ve had so many chances to attone for things, but I was stupid enough to ignore those. Unfortunately, I belive it is too late for saying, “I am sorry for how I am.” The thing is, why should I be sorry? I am willing to change now. I am not going to close the doors on others. I have people there for me. I am not going to be blinded by this haze that I created myself. You are still someone I cherish. You keep racing through my mind. You have helped me make this decision I am making right now. It’s going to take time to do this, and it’s already starting. I hope that you don’t make such a drastic change. Maybe, just maybe, we’ll be together again? I don’t know, but everyone has such a large future ahead of them. I’ll be honest right here though…You have impacted me the most. I’m sorry for last night, but I’m kind of glad it happened. It opened up a new door for me. And here’s some words that I hope you read and I will do when the time comes: “Rodel, if you care about her that much, isolate yourself from other girls. Don’t venture out. Just keep that friendship.” Maybe I won’t follow this completely, but I don’t know how to explain what I’m thinking, all the way just yet. But maybe I did open up alot today. Maybe, just maybe. I don’t plan to isolate myself from girls that much, but I don’t plan on having another girlfriend anytime soon. I plan on pulling myself together first. THANK YOU. BOTH of you even if one of you doesn’t even know this blog exist.
Good luck.