My my

28 05 2008

How unfair people can be. I know you read this, so I will try to clear things up, since obviously I can’t go near you anymore.

1) I did not like someone at the same time as you. Perhaps you heard that, but I said it differently. You started to cry so much, yet you blocked everything that I said after. It was just a little over two to three weeks that we were broken up. During that time, do you really think that I am such a shallow person, that I would just go straight for someone else like that? Apparently so. Maybe two to three weeks is a short time, but hey, there’s a big difference between, RIGHT AFTER we broke up.

2) I did nothing wrong at Prom.

Right now, coming home from work, I completely lost all thoughts in this head of mine. I do not remember much of what I was typing before I left for work. I am so angry at my life right now. It’s worthless. I’m sick of life. If my own mother wishes that she doesn’t wake up, then fuck it. Why should I give a damn about my life. I feel so sorry for the time that anyone put with me.  I don’t care if there’s life after death, I don’t care about heaven or hell. I just don’t care anymore. Just finished reading Ciara’s blog, Oh well. What should I do now? I don’t know. Like Ciara would listen to what I say in the first place, no more explanations.

 

This is for you Ciara, goodbye. There’s no reasoning with you anymore. You have your mind set, and I will not interfere with that.





Prom 08

26 05 2008

Well well. It has been quite a while since I have blogged. Haha. Things have been going great. Even though Prom was like, two days ago, I can still remember it so clearly. The whole day too. That’s what makes it so awesome. Haha. Well, time to start this blog.

The day started really dull. Woke up, like usual and just stayed on the computer for a good while. Was chatting on AIM for a good couple of hours, and then it was time for me to drive my brother to work. That was when things started to kick up for me. I wasn’t ready for Prom yet, and it was already 4pm. I know, not for a while right? But here’s the thing. I had to pick up the Corsage and the Buttonire[sp] at that time. Called Gianni up, and went to get him so we could pick it up. What a surprise for me though. He was already in his Tux and what not. Then I found out about the dinner that we were going to have at 530. I was like, oh. Haha, so I called Lam and asked her to get ready, and apparently she was almost done getting ready. After that went to get Lee and then Alan. Apparently Lee feels safer with Rj’s driving, but oh well. I enjoy the way I drive, it’s fun. Rushed to get the Corsages, and then we dip set. Dropped of Alan and Gianni at Gianni’s house, and then I took Lee with me to my house since I was in a rush. When I got home, I let Lee do whatever in my room after I put the Corsage in the fridge. Closed the door, rushed into my shower and what not. Put my undershirt on, and then gelled my hair. When that was done with, put my Tux on. Bwahaha. Took me a while to tighten those damn pants, it was like wow. Very convient, but at the same time took a while to get. Haha. Then, I realized that I had no money. So…Lee and I rushed to the Bank. Drive through bank is ownage, but sucks when you have to get out of the car to get the money and what not. Haha. Withdrew $120, and sped off to Lam’s house. When we got there, told Lee to sit in the back, and then I went down to get Lam. She wasn’t used to heels, so escorted her to the car since she couldn’t go downhill. After that, sped off to drive Lee home, and then meet up at Kasey’s house. Parked across the street, and then walked Lam to the door and what not. We went to the wrong house at first. Haha. That was embarassing. So, we walked next door to Kasey’s house. Went inside, and everyone was there. Gianni, Pamela, Alan, Rochelle, Alexis, Ferlena and Kasey. We were just waiting for Derrick then we were going to leave. We talked a bit, some pictures and then yeah. When Derrick got there he was with his cousin, and yeah. After that, we all left. Everyone left, and I had to make a quick U-Turn, but couldn’t catch up all the way to Gianni’s car, so I had to call Alan to guide me. I took the right way, and man, I was really speeding. Haha. On average, I was going around 90mph on the freeway. I went 110+mph for a bit, but not that long, but it didn’t go slower than 80, that’s for sure. Haha. That was fun though. When we were in front of the parking lot in front of Horton, there was a car getting Towed away. That caused alot of traffic. Haha. Parked in front of the 6 next to the Onion. Walked on upward with Lam to the 8th floor of the parking structure, only to find it as a parking structure. So, we walked back down, and all the way around AMC towards Panda Inn. We were talking about how it kind of feels weird walking through the mall in the clothes we were in, and when the last time we were here, and what not.

After that, Gianni called and asked where we were and then I saw him, and kept telling him to turn to the left until he could see us. We could see him, but then he couldn’t see us, so it was amusing watching him turning. Once we met up with him, we went into Panda Inn, and then ordered our food. I put my jacket down on the chair, and then Gianni came with me to get my parking validation card thing. On the way, we were talking about how Gianni had rocks in his shoe, and somehow it’ll end up going to me and Alan later. When we got back, we were all talking and what not, then the food got there. It was right before Gianni and I were going to start playing that game with the Sugar and you gulp it down if it stays at the edge. Well, we started to eat, and the guys were all confused on the napkin and covering the vest and what not. I just gave up, since I got tired of trying, so I decided to eat carefully. Haha. Alan and Alexis evenutally took theirs off I believe, and then Gianni rolled up his sleeves, took off his tie, and unbuttoned the top of his shirt. We were all ready to eat! Apparently Alexis was allergic to Nuts, and yeah. So he could only eat the Orange Chicken. The dinner continued on, and then we were all done. Thirds for me, Seconds for everyone else. I didn’t eat that much though. When we got the bill, I pitched in $20 and yeah. We got some awesome fortune cookies, it had white chocolate and I got a pretty good fortune. I forgot where I put it, but I think it was “Hold tightly onto your dreams.” I really liked that one. Haha. Lam got, “Your dream will come true.”

 After that we all walked to the parking lot, and then I realized that I parked in a completely different parking structure than everyone else. Lam and I rushed towards the other side to where I parked and called Alan. I started rushing down, in the parking structure, then I realized that there was an entrance to everyone elses parking lot, so I went to it. Haha. Rushed down again, and I caught up to Gianni’s car! When we got out of the parking structure, we were back in downtown, and I was trying hard to catch up to them, since this one SUV was blocking my way, and then stopped on the yellow when it could have made it. So I lost them temporarily. Eventually, I caught up again, but then! A stupid Blue Cab van thing cut me off, and I was cussing at it alot. Haha. I cut it off after the Stop Sign, then rushed behind Gianni. Then another car cut me off, then yeah. Same thing happened, and I lost Gianni again. I had to look so far for them, and they were so far away. Stupid street police guy stopped me, and then lost Gianni again. When they let me go, sped off, and another guy stopped me for pedestrians. When they let me go again, RUSH! Once again, going 80mph near the convention center and hit red light. -_- Once again, Rush. Lam was daring me to run the red light since I was impatient, but I didn’t want to risk being late or losing Gianni’s car completely. So, when it turned green. BAM! 80-90mph again. Haha. I caught up to Gianni kind of, but only I could see them feintly with my eyes. Rush rush rush, ran all the stop lights without thinking of stopping, then saw Gianni’s car pull into the freeway. At this time I was still on the phone with Alan, and I was following them still. On the freeway, I was completely going 90-120mph. When we were on the bridge, I saw them again, and rushed even more. Then Lam pointed out 55mph on the bridge, but I didn’t give a damn and sped off. hah. 80mph on the Coronado Bridge  was fun, except when I almost hit the wall. That was scary, but oh well. Lam and I were laughing when that happened. When we got off the bridge, I was right behind Gianni’s car again. :] Followed them until we got to the place we wanted. Paid for the Valet parking, and saw that Gianni parked right in front of the water. Lam and I were talking about how we don’t know how to swim, and how we should just jump in the water. Haha. Pulled up to the front, and got the Valet thingy. I didn’t know how it went, so they were kind of laughing at me. When we got down, we walked into the hotel, and man it was so nice.

Took a picture with Christian and his date. Lam didn’t want to go in the picture so yeah. After that, talked a bit with John and everyone else I saw there. Checked in, and voted for Prom King and Queen, then yeah. Waited in line to get a ticket to get in another line. Haha. Lam left me to use the restroom, then the guy that I was going stag or something, and he mispelled my name wrong like twice. Lam came back, then we cut a few people to go behind Alan, Rochelle, Gianni, and Pamela. Yep. Waited in that line for a good while. Just talked occassionally, but not really. That’s how it was for like 2 hours. It got annoying because there was so much bullshit in the line. Like how somehow Jonathan and Rocher near us in the line, when we were waiting for so damn long, and they were still getting their crap done. It was like, wtf. Finally, when we went to get our picture taken, we were like, yay! Then we went inside, and found a seat. Lost Alan and everyone else, so we went with Neil and Angelica. Sat down and what not, and argued with Lam since she kept telling me to dance, but I didn’t because I would feel bad of just making her sit there being bored. Eventually we saw Paul, and then he kept telling us both to dance. Haha. Eventually we did, when it was a slow song, and I realized that I had no idea how to slow dance that well, so I stepped on Lam like two or three times. After that, we just sat back at our table, and what not. Talked with Jean occassionally, and yeah. Once again, same thing for  a while. It wasn’t like an arguement, arguement, but a childish one, kind of. Again, Paul kept telling us to dance, but then we kept saying no and what not. We even tried to force Lam to. Haha. It looked kind of weird, so I let go. After a while, went to the restroom, took a piss, then talked with Shawn for a bit. After that, Gianni came in and we started to talk in there. Haha. After like 5 minutes I went out, then Neil was like, “What the hell were you doing in there? I was waiting for like 10 minutes!” haha. I forgot that he was waiting for me. Haha. When we went back to the dance room, talked with John for  a bit, then dance a bit. Then I felt bad, and then went back to Lam. Yep. We just talked until 1130, when we had to go, since Lam had to be home by midnight. Said bye to everyone, and then got Lam’s stuff out of Rochelle’s purse, and then said bye bye to everyone. When we went outside, we waited for my car for a bit, and we were talking while waiting. When the car got there, checked if every thing was still in the car, and it was, then drove away.

Since it was 1140ish, I told Lam I would drive slowly for her, and by the speed limit, and I did. Haha. When we were driving back, it was really dark, the water looked really nice when we were driving next to it. The road was kind of creepy though, since it was just my car there. Haha. We talked for a while, and followed some cars to take us back to the bridge. We were going to stop by the beach, but then Lam was like, it was too cold, and maybe during the summer. Kept following cars, then eventually we ended up on the bridge. We thanked the car we were following, since it took us to the sign to the bridge. Haha. When we were on the bridge, talked about how we’re afraid of heights, and how the bridge isn’t so scary now that I thought about it. Then we were on the freeway and we just had a nice conversation and what not. Just talked about our siblings, and our families. It was a nice and calm night, and I wasn’t rushing, so it was peaceful and nice. When we got to her house, walked her to her door, and she was like, “No, no one is going to close the front gate!” Then I just walked her to her door anyway and said I would close it before I leave. After that, I said bye, closed the front gate, and went in my car.

While in my car, there were a group of black kids walking towards my way, so I just chilled for a bit. When a car was passing by, they ran to the house across the street, threw their bikes and crap on the lawn, and hid behind the cars and a pillar. That was so hilarious! I started my car, and sped off with the car. Then I thought about it again, and I drove slow, since I wanted to remember the night. Called Alan on what they were going to do after, and they were still there, so I just parked in front of Gianni’s house for a while, and tried to call Ciara a couple of times, then just stopped. Played Pokemon for a bit, then went to sleep in my car for a good 30minutes. Woke up, called Alan again, and they said they would call me if anything was up. So I decided to drive to Jack-in-the-Box. Bought a number 3, with 7 stuffed Jalepeno’s, and watched some racers speed off out of the parking lot. Thought of where I wanted to go, so I went to Eughene’s house, parked behind Michael’s car, ate, and then fell asleep. No one called me, and I woke up at around 215ish, and decided to go home.

Yep, that’s how my Prom was. I liked it. More than Homecoming. It was a very relaxing night. I’ll post up the pictures when I get the time, right now I have to go. Until then.

“Hold tightly onto your dreams.” Man, that’s such an awesome fortune.





8 05 2008

Today was a very horrible day for me. I must say, probably one of the worst days of the year. Woke up late, got to school late w/o a car, and etc. The list can go on, so I might as well go into detail to make this blog look long. First Period, I was unable to attend, so I had to stay outside of school for quite a while. It’s pretty boring just sitting there talking about random things with people that you barely talk to. When John and I started to walk up to the gate, some guy in a wheel chair got ran over by a security guy on the golf cart. I was like, wtf man. I think everyone was, since when do you not stop for  a guy wheeling into school, and how why are you going to get so close to the damn gate in the first place. Oh well, don’t really care about them. Let them settle it. Haha. They were mostly joking after checking if the guy was alright in the wheel chair. I think it was Omar? Some special ed kid. After that, walked to Second Period and met up with Gianni, and we had our daily 3 minute conversation before our Second Period class. Art, we were all talking about Prom, and how Rolei should ask this one guy to Prom, and how we should stalk her during Prom. Just to see her going crazy and what not. Third Period, had a presentation so I just did nothing most of the time. Fourth, just reviewed our Final Project, and talked about what we’re doing for our final project. Fifth freakin horrible for our debate. I had things ready, but then we were too slow, and it was depressing when we got the opening statement wrong. After that, we were like, “we give up.” Yeah, we got only three or something. -_- Made me even more miserable. During Home Period, we went to Gianni’s house for  abit. Lost so many games in Halo 3. GRAWR! Not so good. Okay, well. I forgot what else happened since this is a different day. >_< I just remmeber it as a crappy day. Wait! Went to Little V’s resteraunt, and then yeah. That cheered me up. :]  Work made me happy. Yes indeed. Yeah, it ended well.





Otay Mall!

2 05 2008

So on a side note. I feel very accomplished about this week. Well, kind of. A little iffy here and there, but hey, when isn’t life like that. Saturday, was damn fun! Freakin knocked out on the way to Six Flags, got In n Out! Yeah! Number 1 Animal Style +3 more animal fries! Awesome. After that performances, that I probably fell asleep through. Even though it was our performance, I just couldn’t stay up that well. When we got to the hotel, the pool was closed. Which sucked. When I got in the room, it was okay. I had to sleep in a cabinet next to the TV. It was damn well comfortable. I shall be known as the guy that slept in a cabinet. Bwahaha. Didn’t sleep until like 4am though, I was just jumpy. Well before that we went to Denny’s. I will freakin burn that Denny’s down the the ground man. Horrible Customer Service. Oh well, I had fun while waiting. I made alot of new friends at Six Flags. Well, went to Richelle, Icelee, Edditha, and Jessica’s room when we got all of our food. Jessica wasn’t there, but I didn’t really enjoy my meal. I kind of didn’t like being in there. So I left at around 11pm. Went to my room, and some girl followed me in. A guy followed us too, like being all stuck up and shit, thinking I would do some dirty dirty. Naw, I don’t go that way. She left right away, so I decided to take my shower after Jericho and Haley left the room. That was the best damn shower I’ve had. Not really. But Really. Haha. After that just chilled in the room a bit alone, then Nigel, Sarah, and Juan came in the room. We just chilled for a bit, and randomly Nigel took a shower in the bathroom. I feel bad since, I kind of gave him directions, and probably froze the crap out of him for a while. Whoops. <_<;; So sorry for that my friend. He hated me for that. I learned I could do a front flip, but unfortunately I missed the bed and hit the wall and scratched up my arm. Ouch much. Eventually it somehow became a party in our room and we were starting to sing and dance Nsync music. It was funny. Then Lights Out, and Jericho, Juan, Angelo, and I started to prank call everyone. That was amusing. Very amusing actually. Stopped at around 1am, then they all went to sleep watching Mortal Combat. I just sat in my cabinet listening to music until around 4am, when I got really bored, and fell asleep. Somehow I woke up on the floor with my phone in my hand at around 6am. I was freezing. Went to breakfast, but didn’t get much. Got ready to go, and mingled around in the lobby. After that went in the room to get my stuff, and Jericho and I were plotting to jack a pillow by me running downstairs to catch it out the window. Didn’t do it though, he changed his mind. Haha. Went to Six Flags, and seating changed. I was seated all the way at the front. Oh well. When we got there, went with Nigel, Adrian, Daniel, Jericho, Jeff, Sherryl, Michaela, Rocher, Juan, Haley, and Raynard. We went on Tatsu first, then Riddler, lunch, Golliath, Revolution, then award ceremony, and then Scream. During those hours, was so much fun. The mist, the large lunch, making awesome poses for the camera, so much. I wish that we could go again. When the time came to leave, I slept on Ciara’s lap on the way home. Then she fell asleep on me, then we got to school. What a fun day. Yes indeed.

Sunday, just worked. Nothing spectacular. Monday CCD. I liked that movie they’re watching. Very interesting. Tuesday, I got to drive to school, and play PSU all night. Had to go at 9am, and it was boring for a long time. Major sugar rush. Lunch was okay, dined with G. Carried on like a regular day, thne went to work. Got called up by Security to watch a kid that tried shoplifting. I was like, wow. Haha. Wednesday, went to the bank to make a deposit at around 11ish. Got some Subway for Ciara and myself. Picked up Patrick, and away we went to school. Dolce & Gabanna ftw. I don’t plan on wearing that jacket for a while. I liked people’s reactions. Amusing. Gave Ciara her sandwich, and then shared mine with G. Then carried on like a normal day, same with work. Thursday, got up and drove to the bank again to make ANOTHER deposit. I didn’t want to wait in line that long, so I just left and got G, Toomey, and my lunch at subway. Man, am I going to miss Thursday. I think it was the best day. Went to school, at our lunchs, walked around for a bit, and continued on. Fifth period, I didn’t get to stay in because of an interview. Man, how boring. Home period, went to G’s house, then we took his car to get gas and milk. Went back to his house, took my car, and then we went to Otay to pick up his schedule. Got gas at the same spot, but I didn’t get the choco milk. Went to G’s house, dropped him off, then dropped Patrick off, then off to work. So damn busy. Oh well, I didn’t get out until 930. rawr.

Today! Friday! YAY! Drove to school, and was almost late. Orchestra, kind of didnt’ like, since No Names strings were completely out. I wanted to get out so badly. Second period, I chose my word. SNAIL. Apparently it’s cute. Third period, freakin Aced that test like nothing and knocked out. Fourth period, just doodles on a blank piece of paper while thinking. Lunch, spent it with Alan, and stayed a bit longer to eat Tacos. Yum. Ran my ass to class though. Fifth period, oh my was that fun. Knocked out half the period and woke up drooling. Kristine was like, “Your eyes were half open. o_o” Then we got into a conversation about Ms. Bergan’s class. Kind of sort of fun. Such a loud class. Home period, we dropped out cars off at G’s house, and took his momma’s car to Otay again. We stayed for a whlie though. After getting the paycheck and all. Chocolate factory, bought some smoothies, walked around the mall for a bit, looking at clothes to buy when we all have money saved up. It was actually fun. Went to Bank of America to show G how to deposit his check and what to do, and then went to WaMu to deposit my check. The one at Bonita Rd, was fairly big and empty. o_o I was so amazed. Went to G’s house, and then took my car back to drive Patrick, home. Apologized to my mom for being late, and then changed to wash the car. G parked his car in the front, and BAM! We started to wash our cars. Haha. It was so funny, and our most accomplishing thing done the whole week. Our cars shined like never before. After that, I had to go through a small ass window I never knew existed on my house and got us in. We just relaxed on the couch planning on what to do this summer. Car Washes everywhere! Patricks house! Then random peoples houses that we lie and say we’ll wash their car and don’t! Haha. Then we had a interesting conversation after G changed to his uniform. Then I told him to play a song on the guitar to cheer me up before he left, and he attempted. Haha. Then he left, and I took a nap. I say today is the most accomplishing day this week. I look foward to summer now.





Current Thoughts

2 05 2008

Perhaps I have said the wrong thing, but it ended up like this. My thoughts currently are jumbled up into a giant mess. I do not know what I am thinking. Mixed emotions perhaps, but you know what? I am going to get through this. I do not have the same people as before, but I am no longer going to let that hinder my mind any longer. The ones right now are just fine. I’ve had so many chances to attone for things, but I was stupid enough to ignore those. Unfortunately, I belive it is too late for saying, “I am sorry for how I am.” The thing is, why should I be sorry? I am willing to change now. I am not going to close the doors on others. I have people there for me. I am not going to be blinded by this haze that I created myself. You are still someone I cherish. You keep racing through my mind.  You have helped me make this decision I am making right now. It’s going to take time to do this, and it’s already starting. I hope that you don’t make such a drastic change. Maybe, just maybe, we’ll be together again? I don’t know, but everyone has such a large future ahead of them. I’ll be honest right here though…You have impacted me the most. I’m sorry for last night, but I’m kind of glad it happened. It opened up a new door for me. And here’s some words that I hope you read and I will do when the time comes: “Rodel, if you care about her that much, isolate yourself from other girls. Don’t venture out. Just keep that friendship.” Maybe I won’t follow this completely, but I don’t know how to explain what I’m thinking, all the way just yet. But maybe I did open up alot today. Maybe, just maybe. I don’t plan to isolate myself from girls that much, but I don’t plan on having another girlfriend anytime soon. I plan on pulling myself together first. THANK YOU. BOTH of you even if one of you doesn’t even know this blog exist.





Here’s a little change

1 05 2008

For you.